LA SHAWN BARBER COMMENTARY: Black Marriage

The conservative blogger - who is not married nor has children - discusses the 'Marriage Is For White People' commentary in the Washington Post by Joy Jones, which is abuzz in the black blogosphere: "In my admittedly biased, unscientific observations, it appears that black boys are not being socialized to marry and take care of families, and black girls are not being socialized to accept nothing less than an honorable man who will marry and care for them. Generally speaking, boys are not being groomed to be husbands and breadwinners, and girls are not being groomed to keep their legs closed until marriage. Why are these things so, and why is 'black marriage' in such a dismal state? I believe the reasons boil down to two factions: fatherless homes and the weakening of the social stigma against illegitimacy.....I’ll tie points 1 and 2 together: fatherlessness is prevalent in the black community on all socioeconomic levels because on all socioeconomic levels, it is no longer shameful to be pregnant and unmarried. All people of all colors in this country have become more selfish. Our primary concern is for ourselves, not what’s best for our precious babies. We scarcely consider the long-term consequences of our actions or the well-being of our children. Women who believe they don’t need a husband and/or that they can raise their kids just as well alone are deluded, and it’s the subsequent generation that suffers for it. Having babies with boyfriends is so acceptable in certain black communities, it’s hard to believe that intact black families exist at all. A black child with a residential father married to his mother is such a phenomenal thing. A group that defines deviancy down this far has no one to blame for the fallout but itself. For unmarried black women who want to blame black men for their state, it just won’t wash. There’s a long list of 'issues' at work, and women bear an equal share of the blame."

While waiting for the bus yesterday, I had a brief conversation with a black woman (who was about mid-40s) who I often see on said bus. She mentioned that she had been studying architectural design, but dropped out to have her sons. She asked if I had any children, and I said no and that I would want to be married first (I would consider adoption, but not having children). From the look on her face, you would have thought that I had grown another head or something. Marriage before children - what a backwards concept!